September 14, 2005

Make that 102 Uses For A Dead Cat

I always liked the book 101 Uses For A Dead Cat. No, I don't hate cats that much (after all, they have some intrinsic value while they are still kittens), but the book did provide a lot of cheap laughs and sight-gaga.

Well, the updated edition will have to add this one.

A German inventor has angered animal rights activists with his answer to fighting the soaring cost of fuel -- dead cats.

Christian Koch, 55, from the eastern county of Saxony, told Bild newspaper that his organic diesel fuel -- a home-made blend of garbage, run-over cats, and other ingredients -- is a proven alternative to normal consumer diesel.

"I drive my normal diesel-powered car with this mixture," Koch said. "I have gone 170,000 km (106,000 miles) without
a problem."

The website of Koch's firm, "Alphakat GmbH", says his patented "KDV 500" machine can produce what he calls the "bio-diesel" fuel at about 23 euro cents (30 cents) a litre, which is about one-fifth the price at petrol stations now.

Koch said around 20 dead cats added into the mix could help produce enough fuel to fill up a 50-litre (11 gallon) tank.

But the president of the German Society for the Protection of Animals, Wolfgang Apel, said using dead cats for fuel was illegal.

"There's no danger for cats and dogs in Germany because this practice is outlawed in Germany," Apel told Bild on Wednesday in a story entitled "Can you really make fuel out of cats?"

"We're going to keep an eye on this case," Apel said.

Dead cats or dead dinosaurs -- which is a renewable resource?

(Cool -- thae Amazon link offers a bargain if you buy The Book of Bunny Suicides, too!)

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September 09, 2005

Those Aliens Left Some Upgrades Behind






>

They will be loosed upon trolls, spammers, and fools.

But I will continue to be your guide.


>

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August 27, 2005

A Rosary For The Left

Over at The Jawa Report, Dr. Rusty Shackleford presents us with a new form of religious devotion, especially for the folks who believe Cindy Sheehan has even a lick of credibility.

The Rosary of the the far left:

1) Make the Sign of the Ankh and say the "Leftist Creed."

I laughed. I cried. I wondered whether the Pope will issue a fatwa against Rusty.

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Courting A Fatwa

The original got Dr. Hook the place on Rolling Stone's cover that he craved.

Will the parody get Misha the fatwa he sings about?

Go take a look -- it is worth the laugh.

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Great Moments In Anti-War Anti-American Protest

Matt May has a great piece in the American Thinker highlighting a little known precedent for Cindy Sheehan's actions in Crawford.

NEW YORK (Nov. 20, 1776) – The grieving mother of an American soldier killed in action during the recent failed defense of Fort Washington is demanding an audience with Gen. George Washington.

“George is the biggest butcher on the face of the earth,” Mrs. Ima Benedict declared to a throng of nearly 25 Loyalist pamphleteers and newspapermen.

About 30 fellow protestors on a street corner on the upper west side of Manhattan joined Mrs. Benedict today at what has been dubbed “Camp Arnold” by supporters of Mrs. Benedict’s cause. The group held aloft homemade placards reading “No Blood For Representation,” “George, Talk to Ima” and “Justice for Arnold.”

Arnold Benedict was one of nearly 3,000 American soldiers killed during the recent attempt to defend Fort Washington on Manhattan. Mr. Benedict, of Massachusetts, signed on with the American army at the beginning of the year. Mrs. Benedict said that she pleaded with him not to join but Mr. Benedict and his father said he was old enough to make his own decisions. He was 22-years old. Mrs. Benedict claims the war is invalid.

I urge you to read this important historical report.

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August 04, 2005

Someone Had To Say It

Bravo to Matt Bramanti of Lone Star Times.

From the cloned dog story:

Blockquote>South Korea’s pioneering stem cell scientist has cloned a dog, smashing another biological barrier and reigniting a fierce ethical debate — while producing a perky, lovable puppy.

They left out delicious. A perky, lovable, delicious puppy.

Researcher Hwang Woo-suk said the cloned dog would help in researching diseases that plague humans:

"Dogs share physiological characteristics with humans," he said. "A lot of diseases that occur in dogs can be directly transferred to humans."

"And thatÂ’s why you must always cook your dog until itÂ’s medium well," he cautioned.

Dr. Hwang quickly ended the press conference, saying it was time to "wok the dog."

"Uh, I mean walk," he stammered. "Walk the dog."

I mean let's be honest here -- we were all thinking it.

wclone04.jpg

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July 27, 2005

My Girl Robot

I've always laughed when that line shows up in the credit card commercial about identity theft.

And I haven't been able to get it out of my head since seeing this story.

Japanese scientists have unveiled the most human-looking robot yet devised - a "female" android called Repliee Q1.

She has flexible silicone for skin rather than hard plastic, and a number of sensors and motors to allow her to turn and react in a human-like manner.

She can flutter her eyelids and move her hands like a human. She even appears to breathe.

Professor Hiroshi Ishiguru of Osaka University says one day robots could fool us into believing they are human.

Repliee Q1 is not like any robot you will have seen before, at least outside of science-fiction movies.

She is designed to look human and although she can only sit at present, she has 31 actuators in her upper body, powered by a nearby air compressor, programmed to allow her to move like a human.

My girl robot -- indeed.

UPDATE: Dirty Harry, Tony B, and Kim DuToit have some related comments.

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July 11, 2005

One of the best "in your face" moments in film

Just caught a rerun of "Good Will Hunting" on A&E I believe it was. Despite star Matt Damon's affection for Gucci Marxists like Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn (declared by Damon's character in the flick), the scene early on in the neighborhood bar where Damon's buddy Ben Affleck is being belittled by some Harvard jackass -- and then genius Damon butts in to counter-belittle the Harvard jackanape -- is priceless.

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When A Typo Makes A Difference

Don't you hate it when stuff like this happens? This was the headline on a story that popped up on my homepage this afternoon.

DNC Fundraising Tops $28 So Far in 2005

Can YOU guess the typo?

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June 17, 2005

Some Things Are Too Funny To Be Made Up

As I drove in to work this morning, I couldn't help but be amused about the report of flashing signals -- at the intersection of Clinton and Fidelity.

INSERT YOUR JOKE HERE

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May 12, 2005

Product Placement

Noting that product placement deals have moved from television and movies into live theater, Bruce Kluger and David Slavin have tried to slip a few discrete ads into the works of the Bard himself, William Shakespeare.

Here are a couple of my favorites, plucked from the column.

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. Then it's Miller time!'

— Henry VI, Part 2 (4, 2)

***

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion on a sesame seed bun."
— Macbeth (4, 1)

***

"To be or not to be, that is the question. For everything else, there's MasterCard."
— Hamlet (3, 1)


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