Potter and Soprano, that is.

Bravo to Slate’s Dan Kois for his “Sopranoized” final chapter of the upcoming Harry Potter book.

Harry walked into the Three Broomsticks and took a seat in a booth near the back. Who were all the people in here tonight? They looked familiar, but Harry didn't know any of them. Was that Dolores Umbridge? No, just some woman in a hideous cardigan.

None of these diners knew yet that Voldemort was dead—not by Harry's hand, but killed instead by Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan, who'd happened upon He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named outside of London. They'd cursed him from behind and watched as the Knight Bus ran over his head with a horrible crunching sound.

Harry flipped through the channels on the wizarding wireless until he found a song that reminded him of the old days, "Do the Hippogriff" by the Weird Sisters. He remembered the crowds dancing to this song at the Yule Ball, years before; so many of those friends were long gone now, dead or in Azkaban. As the song began, Harry heard the tinkle of the bell above the front door as Ginny came in. She hurried to his booth and sat down.

"It's Percy," he told her, taking a swig of butterbeer. "He's testifying."

LetÂ’s hope that JK Rowling has written a more conclusive ending to the series than th Sopranos received.

Posted by: Greg at 01:24 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 236 words, total size 1 kb.

I'd love to be able to respectfully forward this one on to the student who keyed a pithy, two-word message (second word: "U") into the hood of my car during finals week.

Enjoy! But not at work or where the kids can see it.

Posted by: Greg at 10:51 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.

You know the cheesy "Footprints in the Sand" story about how God carries people in times of trouble (yes, I believe it -- but the ubiquitous little parable has become a cliche).

Well, Potry over at The Nose On Your Face has come up with an updated version.

One night Al Gore had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.

This dream interrupted his dream about the never-ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden,
so he was quite agitated as he tried to keep pace with the LORD on the beach.

Anyway, across the sky flashed scenes from AlÂ’s life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
a massive heart attack while giving a speech at a DennyÂ’s
to the six remaining believers in global warming in 2017,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

The rest is absolutely priceless -- and I encourage you to visit that fantastic site for political satire.

Posted by: Greg at 05:27 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 193 words, total size 1 kb.