April 10, 2008

I DidnÂ’t Know She Still Had A Job

Much less that any network would actually consider hiring her for an hour-long news show.

After two years of record-low ratings, both CBS News executives and people close to Katie Couric say that the "CBS Evening News" anchor is likely to leave the network well before her contract expires in 2011 -- possibly soon after the presidential inauguration early next year.

* * *

One possible new job for Ms. Couric: succeeding Larry King at CNN. Mr. King, who is 74 years old, has a contract with the network into 2009. CNN President Jon Klein, a CBS veteran with close ties to some at the network, has expressed admiration for Ms. Couric's work, and the two are friends. They had lunch in late January, and the anchor attended Mr. Klein's birthday party in March. Time Warner Inc.'s CNN said, "Larry King is a great talent who consistently delivers the highest profile guests, and we have no plans to make a change." Through a publicist, Mr. King declined to comment.

Personally, I think it is simply a matter of Couric trying to find another husband – isn’t it about time for old Larry to trade his current wife in on a newer model? Granted, the old gray mare ain’t what she used to be (if she ever was), but then again, neither is Larry without pharmaceutical intervention.

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April 07, 2008

CBS News Cuts May Lead To Outsourcing

Yea, how the mighty have fallen!

CBSNews used to be the gold standard for television reporting.

Now it is cut so far that the network is on the verge of cutting a deal to have CNN do its reporting instead.

CBS, the home of the most celebrated news division in broadcasting, has been in discussions with Time Warner about a deal to outsource some of its news-gathering operations to CNN, two executives briefed on the matter said Monday.

Over the last decade, CNN has held intermittent talks with both ABC News and CBS News about various joint ventures. But during the last several months, talks with CBS have been revived and lately intensified, according to the executives who asked for anonymity because of the confidential nature of the negotiations.

Broadly speaking, the executives described conversations about reducing CBSÂ’s news-gathering capacity while keeping its frontline personalities, like Katie Couric, the CBS Evening News anchor, and paying a fee to CNN to buy the cable networkÂ’s news feeds.

Another possibility, these people said, would be for CBS to keep its correspondents in certain regions but pair them with CNN crews.

I wonder -- will the folks at CBS be reporting this as another example of a greedy corporation cutting loose employees in order to make a profit? Or will it instead present this as a strengthening of the news division, especially if the news crews are cut and the high-profile reporters are the only employees kept?

I think we all know the answer -- which chows one more example of CBSNews and its willingness to spin the truth to reach the result it wants.

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NBC Seeks To Stop Runway Runaway

My wife loves Project Runway -- and I'll concede that watching it with her is something of a guilty pleasure on my part. I really don't care about the clothes -- the show is simply funny.

NBC knows that they've got a great ratings grabber with their Bravo hit -- which is why they are headed to court to make sure they keep the show.

NBC Universal, the parent company of Bravo network, has gone to court to try to keep “Project Runway,” one of the biggest hits in cable television, from moving to Lifetime this fall.

In a lawsuit filed Monday in state court in Manhattan, NBC accused the owner of “Project Runway,” the Weinstein Company, of violating its rights by making the deal with Lifetime.

The suit asserts Harvey Weinstein, the chief executive of the Weinstein Company, promised NBC that it would have an opportunity to match any offer to the rights of “Project Runway” and that instead, Mr. Weinstein concluded a deal with Lifetime on Feb. 7, even though he continued to negotiate with NBC Universal for two more months.

In a statement, NBC said “NBC Universal has continuing rights related to ‘Project Runway,’ including a right of first refusal to future cycles of the series, which the Weinstein Company unfortunately has refused to honor.”

The Weinsteins, through their lawyer (Al Gore's dishonest shyster, David Boies), claims that there is nothing to the NBC suit -- but that strikes me as a bit of a stretch. Assuming the claim of a February agreement with Lifetime followed by two months of sham negotiations with NBC is an accurate one, it is clear that the Weinsteins were not acting in good faith.

Besides -- I'd rather see this show move off the boutique channels and run on NBC itself.

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April 06, 2008

Moses Enters The Promised Land

Charlton Heston -- 1923-1958

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Few faces or voices were as easily recognizable in cinema during the first half of my lifetime. If not the voice of God, Charlton Heston was certainly the voice of God's messenger, Moses. I won't begin to list his many great roles, except to mention his well-loved performances in Ben-Hur, The Agony and the Ecstasy, and Planet of the Apes.

Heston was an ardent believer in America and the rights of Americans -- leading him to both march for civil rights with Dr. Martin Luther King and to head America's largest civil rights organization, the National Rifle Association.

And now the voice is stilled forever.

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April 04, 2008

Zellweger: I DonÂ’t Want To Be A Mama

Remember when Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney split up after their very brief marriage? Well, there was a ton of speculation about her wanting kids and him not being interested – or even gay (given the “fraud” grounds for annulment)? Looks like that wasn’t it.

Hollywood singleton Renee Zellweger, who turns 39 this month, has revealed she harbours no plans to be a parent.

The actress, who showed off her stylish new look as she arrived for an appearance the Late Show with David Letterman in New York City, has said: “Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don't think like that.”

So much for that tabloid rumor.

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April 03, 2008

Retired? Maybe Not!

Is it a Brett Favre comeback?

Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre, who announced his retirement last month after 17 seasons, reportedly could be weighing a comeback with another team.

Favre's agent has quietly inquired with teams about their interest in trading for the three-time NFL most valuable player, the Los Angeles Times reported Thursday.

Favre, 38, has yet to give written notice of his retirement to the league or the players' union. According to the Times, it's also not uncommon for players to delay in doing so, particularly if they are not in immediate need of their pension money.

Favre's agent denies he is interested in playing for another team -- but that could be a ploy to deflect speculation. But in the end, I doubt we'll see the comeback happen -- after all, would any team really be willing to give up what the packers would want for one of the greatest quarterbacks of the last two decades?

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What A Frightening Picture

I always visit the Washington Post over lunch, just to check the headlines

Today I found myself frightened by what I saw.

I then thought, “Did they unwrap a mummy at the Smithsonian?”

“Or maybe there's an exhibit of one of those ancient Celts they pull out of the peat bogs?”

“Could it be an Andean mummy from the Inca Empire?”
more...

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March 27, 2008

Inventor Of Ubiquitous Breakfast Sandwich Dies

Now here's an accomplishment to be known for.

Herb Peterson, who invented the ubiquitous Egg McMuffin as a way to introduce breakfast to McDonald's restaurants, has died, a Southern California McDonald's official said Wednesday. He was 89.

Peterson died peacefully Tuesday at his Santa Barbara home, said Monte Fraker, vice president of operations for McDonald's restaurants in that city.

He began his career with McDonald's Corp. as vice president of the company's advertising firm, D'Arcy Advertising, in Chicago. He wrote McDonald's first national advertising slogan, "Where Quality Starts Fresh Every Day."

Peterson eventually became a franchisee and was currently co-owner and operator of six McDonald's restaurants in Santa Barbara and Goleta, Fraker said.

Peterson came up with idea for the signature McDonald's breakfast item in 1972. He "was very partial to eggs Benedict," Fraker said, and worked on creating something similar.

The egg sandwich consisted of an egg that had been formed in a Teflon circle with the yolk broken, topped with a slice of cheese and grilled Canadian bacon. It was served open-faced on a toasted and buttered English muffin.

Well, everybody wants to be known for something -- and looks like Peterson made himself a part of popular culture. I can remember when the notion of a breakfast menu at a fast food place was unheard of. Now it is big business. Interesting how one idea can spark an industry revolution.

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March 21, 2008

Noting A Favorite Site

OK -- I'll admit it.

I'm a dog person.

And I've fallen in love with a certain website over the last few months.

One with pictures like the one below the fold. more...

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March 19, 2008

Science Fiction Giant Arthur C. Clarke Dies

Sir Arthur C. Clarke wrote what may be the greatest science fiction book of all time, 2001: A Space Odyssey. But the prolific author and scientist published much more than that one work, and worked to promote scientific understanding and advancement during his many decades of work.

Sir Arthur C. Clarke, the science fiction writer, has died aged 90 in his adopted home of Sri Lanka, it was confirmed tonight.

Clarke, who had battled debilitating post-polio syndrome since the 1960s and sometimes used a wheelchair, died at 1:30am after suffering breathing problems, his personal secretary Rohan De Silva said.

“Sir Arthur passed away a short while ago at the Apollo Hospital [in Colombo]. He had a cardio-respiratory attack,” he said.

* * *

The visionary author of more than 70 books, who was nominated for a Nobel Prize after predicting the existence of satellites, was most famous for his short story "The Sentinel", which was expanded into the novel that was later adapted for Stanley Kubrick's film "2001: A Space Odyssey".

He was also credited with inventing the concept of communications satellites in 1945, decades before they became a reality.

Clarke was the last surviving member of what was sometimes known as the "Big Three" of science fiction, alongside Robert A. Heinlein and Isaac Asimov.

The astronomer Sir Patrick Moore said that his friend was a “great visionary, brilliant science-fiction writer and great forecaster”.

“He said there would be a man on the Moon by 1970, while I said 1980 — and he was right,” he said.

“He was ahead of his time in so many ways. I’m very, very sad that he’s gone."

What is amazing to consider is that Clarke was working int he field of space science long before there was an actual space program, and that he was considered enough of a scientific expert to be brought on as a commentator by CBS News during its coverage of the Apollo program so many years ago.

And with the passing of Arthur C. Clarke comes the closing of an era in science fiction. He was the last of the giants of that era, the last of the authors who made the genre respectable and lifted it above the realm of pulp fiction. To class him with Asimov and Heinlein is quite appropriate, for the trio have the distinction of having written so many great works that still hold up to scrutiny decades after their publication.

Farewell, Sir Arthur C. Clarke -- and thanks for the many hours of pleasure your works brought to my life and the lives of so many others.

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March 05, 2008

Swayze Ill

OK, I don't usually comment upon has-been actors, but I'll make the exception in this case for two reasons.

More on them later.

First the news.

Patrick Swayze’s doctor is “optimistic” about his prognosis for battling pancreatic cancer, and the “Dirty Dancing” actor’s upcoming cable pilot is still in contention to become a series.

With the writer’s strike over, the A&E pilot “The Beast,” starring Swayze as an unorthodox FBI agent, is being considered to be turned into a series by the cable network. If that happens, the “Dirty Dancing” and “Ghost” star hopes to continue to be part of the show, his representative Annett Wolf told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Swayze has been undergoing treatment for the disease, Wolf confirmed in a statement. The National Cancer Institute estimates there will be 37,680 new cases of pancreatic cancer in 2008 with 34,290 deaths in the U.S.; only five percent of patients live more than five years after being diagnosed.

No, things do not look good for Swayze, though he certainly will have access to the best treatment. The reality, though, is that every person I've known with pancreatic cancer has been gone within a year. It is particularly virulent.

So why do i comment on the story? Two reasons.

1) While folks remember Ghost and Dirty Dancing when talking about Patrict Swayze, a pair of chick flicks, most guys remember him best in a favorite film of the Cold War era, Red Dawn. It is strange to watch the movie today, with the Russians no longer Communist and Castro gone from power in Cuba, but it still resonates. I wonder -- could a similar film about a post-Islamist takeover of America ever get made today?

2) I always have enjoyed the outrageous headlines of the NY Post, but they crossed a line with this one.

PATRICK SWAYZE GOING TO DIE

Come on, folks, isn't that a bit much? Have you no decency? And I won't point out the obvious truth that goes along with your headline.

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March 04, 2008

Bye Bye Brett

One of the greats of NFL history hangs it up.

Brett Favre told Green Bay Packers officials yesterday that he is walking away after a 17-year career in which he established himself as one of the most prolific and charismatic quarterbacks in NFL history.

Favre, 38, had pondered retirement in each of the last few offseasons but chose to continue a career that's sure to land him in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, even when it seemed as if his best days as a player might be behind him. He reversed the downward spiral in his play this past season, recapturing the exuberance and daring success of his younger days and leading the Packers to the doorstep of another Super Bowl appearance.

That resurgence on a youthful team created the expectation that he was likely to return next season. Instead, he informed Packers Coach Mike McCarthy by telephone Monday night that he would retire and reiterated that plan in a phone conversation yesterday morning with General Manager Ted Thompson.

Frankly, this is a good choice. The man doesn't feel ready to continue with the physically and mentally grueling effort that he needs to put out to excel. Better to allow a younger man to step in and lead the team to the next level than to pull the packers down by a halfhearted effort. We've all seen what happens when a great player over-stays his welcome. I'm glad Favre won't be a player remembered that way.

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February 19, 2008

No New Fall TV Seasons?

If this catches on, the practice of introducing new shows in the fall will go the way of the dodo bird and the passenger pigeon.

NBC Universal took a big step toward undoing one of the television industryÂ’s oldest traditions by announcing Tuesday that it would move to a year-round schedule of staggered program introductions. The move is intended to appeal to advertisers, who crave fresh content to keep viewers tuned in.

And if it succeeds — and leads other broadcast networks to shift from their focus on a mass introduction of new shows — it could alter an American cultural cycle that extends all the way back to the days of radio, when families gathered around the Philco every September, as the school year began, to sample the new entertainment choices.

NBC plans to announce a 52-week schedule in April, a month before ABC and CBS will unveil their fall lineups at splashy presentations known as upfronts. The decision means that NBC will be committing to a new lineup of shows earlier than any of its competitors, while also inviting advertisers to build marketing plans around specific shows and perhaps to integrate brands and products into the plots of the shows themselves.

We've been seeing a move this direction for some time. For example, the show 24 has always debuted in the winter (well, prior to this strike-plagued year). And there have been a number of limited run series that are shown during the summer. But as a rule, the fall has been the time to roll out the new product line, just like the auto industry. But there really isn't any solid business reason for doing so, especially as some shows die an ugly death at mid-season, or even earlier, and need replacements. This will also do away with the rerun desert that is the summer months -- we will always have something new on network TV.

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February 14, 2008

Indiana Jones Trailer

Here it is -- the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Indy looks older, and he has a young stud to be his protege. Could this signal a new way to revive the franchise? And correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that look like the warehouse where they stored the Ark of the Covenant? My only question is this -- why does it look like the US military is the bad guy in this one?

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Denver Broncos

Anyone who read this blog during the past football seasn knows that I am a big fan of NFL football. And while my team of choice today is the Houston Texans, I follow several other teams as well – among those being the Denver Broncos. Of course, the most exciting player in Denver Broncos team history has to have been John Elway. Year in and year out, it was guaranteed that Elway would be one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. Over at 20Yardline.com, you can learn all about the Broncos – or any other NFL team you are interested in. I know I’ll be adding the site to my list of favorites for the fall.

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Star Wars Animated Film Coming

Sounds good to me.

The "Star Wars" universe, already substantially rendered by computer generated imagery, is giving in all the way to animation.

"Star Wars: The Clone Wars," an animated film, will open in theaters Aug. 15 and be followed by a TV series of the same name, to air on the Cartoon Network and TNT this fall.

"I felt there were a lot more 'Star Wars' stories left to tell," said "Star Wars" creator George Lucas in a statement. "I was eager to start telling some of them through animation and, at the same time, push the animation forward."

Add to that the upcoming live-action spin-off series, and I think there is still some life left in the franchise.

However, there is one aspect of the Star Wars universe that this leaves unexplored – one that really ought to be done.

As most fans (especially of my generation) know, at one time Lucas' conception of Star Wars involved a "trilogy of trilogies". We now have the classic Star Wars trilogy (episodes 4-6) and the more recent trilogy (episodes 1-3), showing us the descent of the Republic into Empire and the overthrow of that Empire. Why not give us that additional trilogy – what were originally to be episodes 7-9 – as animated films. This would complete the original George Lucas vision without the difficulties of writing, directing, and producing three more live-action films.

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February 11, 2008

Back To The Future For UK Athletes

In a shameful repetition of 1936 in Berlin, British athletes will be expected to remain silent about the evil of the host country at this summer’s Olympics – not only in Beijing, but between the time of their selection and their return to the UK.

British Olympic chiefs are to force athletes to sign a contract promising not to speak out about China's appalling human rights record – or face being banned from travelling to Beijing.

The move – which raises the spectre of the order given to the England football team to give a Nazi salute in Berlin in 1938 – immediately provoked a storm of protest.

The controversial clause has been inserted into athletes' contracts for the first time and forbids them from making any political comment about countries staging the Olympic Games.

It is contained in a 32-page document that will be presented to all those who reach the qualifying standard and are chosen for the team.

From the moment they sign up, the competitors – likely to include the Queen's granddaughter Zara Phillips and world record holder Paula Radcliffe – will be effectively gagged from commenting on China's politics, human rights abuses or illegal occupation of Tibet.

But then again, this should be no shock. The current head of the British Olympic Association, Lord Colin Moynihan, violated the 1980 boycott of the Moscow Olympics to suck up to the Reds in Moscow. Of course he will act in a manner supportive of Communist dictatorship and oppression again in 2008 when given the chance.

No telling if British Olympians will be required to offer a salute to the dictators in Beijing like their predecessors were seven decades ago.

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February 05, 2008

Sad To See

I'll admit it -- back in college, I got hooked on a particular soap opera with a group of friend. You would find a group of about 30 of us getting our daily fix of General Hospital each afternoon -- something particularly amusing because i was at an all male college (the folks buying ads for "feminine protection" and feminine hygiene" products certainly didn't get their money's worth with us).

And so I was sad to catch this story while searching for Super Tuesday news.

Actress Shell Kepler, who for years played the gossipy nurse Amy Vining on the TV soap opera "General Hospital," has died. She was 49.

Kepler died Friday at Oregon Health & Science University hospital, which did not give the cause of death.

Kepler's busybody character on "General Hospital" was a fan favorite and enjoyed a long run, 1979-2002.

In addition to her run on "General Hospital," she was also in a 1982 Joan Collins film, "Homework," and a couple of episodes of the situation comedy "Three's Company."

On the side, she was a businesswoman, marketing clothing on the former Home Shopping Club. She said in a 1994 Associated Press interview that her "Lacy Afternoon" collection had sales topping $20 million that year alone.

Yeah, the show was a guilty pleasure from my youth -- and this death is one more sign of my youth passing by.

My condolences to her family and friends.

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February 04, 2008

Bobby Knight Retires

On Saturday, Bobby Knight's Texas Tech Red Raiders won, giving the coach his 902nd coaching victory.

On Monday, Bobby Knight abruptly resigned from his position as head coach, leaving his son, Pat Knight, as head coach.

And shock waves roll through the sporting world.

Bob Knight, known as much for his fiery temper as his basketball brilliance, resigned Monday at Texas Tech, handing the team over to his son.

It was a stunning midseason move by the winningest menÂ’s coach in major college basketball, who gave no hint a change was coming. Pat Knight, a Red Raiders assistant, was appointed his fatherÂ’s successor in 2005.

“There’s a transition that’s going to take place here from me to Pat and I’ve dwelt on this all year long ... how it would be best for him and for the team and for what we can do in the long run to make this the best thing for Texas Tech,” Knight told the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, which first reported the resignation.

The 67-year-old Knight informed Texas Tech athletic director Gerald Myers of his decision in a meeting around noon Monday, Texas Tech chancellor Kent Hance told The Associated Press. Knight then called Hance and told him.

“He’s ready,” Pat Knight said during his weekly radio show. “He’s tired.”

Hance said: “I think Bob is through with coaching. I think he got to the point where it wasn’t fun for him.

“He thought about it Sunday all day and talked to his wife and decided ’This is something I want to do.”’

Knight told the news paper he informed the team before practice Monday.

What can I say -- he reached that milestone of being the winningest coach in college basketball history. He was ready to go, and had the transition team in place to make it happen smoothly. And rather than have the rest of the season, or all of next season, be "The Bobby Knight Farewell Tour", he walked away so that his players would be the focus, not their coach. There is something to be respected in that decision, as hard as it is for fans to accept.

Here's wishing Pat Knight and the young men of the Texas Tech Red Raiders basketball team the best of luck as they play out the season -- and hopefully have success in post-season play.

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February 03, 2008

Super Ads?

OK -- I blogged about the Super Bowl last night and celebrated the Giant upset.

But what about the OTHER story -- the Super Bowl ads?

Many commercials that appeared during Super Bowl XLII took a satiric tack, spoofing movies, television shows, video clips, celebrity misbehavior and more. A typical though entertaining cast of characters — animals, babies, pop stars — all made their appearances, lending a lighthearted spirit to the annual festivities.

For the most part, it worked. The tone was a welcome contrast to the angry, off-putting tenor of too many spots in last year’s Super Bowl, which were filled with crude and cartoonish violence. Although some sponsors decided to play it straight — with decidedly mixed results — the pervasive atmosphere was one of good-natured humor, of a type that seemed to elevate the night’s proceedings.

There were some top notch ads., such as this one.

One spot-on satire Sunday came from the Audi division of Volkswagen of America, which drolly spoofed “The Godfather,” complete with a cast member, Alex Rocco, from the original. The spot, by Venables Bell & Partners, replaced the horse’s head in the mogul’s bed with — gasp! — a grille severed from the front end of a Brand X luxury sports car.

I really enjoyed that one, though my wife was a little less enthralled by it. Perhaps it is just the difference between men and women when it comes to "The Godfather".

But we both agreed on this ad, which elicited jokes between us all night AND set the standard for comparisons for the rest of the game.

Anheuser-Busch parodied another 1970s film, “Rocky,” with a Clydesdale as Sylvester Stallone and a Dalmatian in the Burgess Meredith role. The spot, among the best of the night, was created by DDB Worldwide, part of the Omnicom Group.

Set aside the fact that any commercial involving the Clydesdales will be an automatic favorite -- this one was clever and well-done. And on a night when much of America was rooting for the underdog, how on earth could this one miss with viewers, including those of us who do not drink?

But the one that stole our hearts as the game approached it end was from the NFL itself, and elicited few comments in the press.

Yeah, maybe it is the fact that we are there in section 541 every game, cheering for both Chester Pitts and Ephraim Salaam, and that Pitts is a particular fan favorite at Reliant Stadium. Or maybe it is that we Texans fans, buoyed by an 8-8 season, are dreaming that next year we will actually see these guys on the field as the Houston Texans play in their first Super Bowl. Then again, maybe it was just fun to see Chester Pitts playing the oboe(!) on national television.

Overall, I wasn't impressed with this year's crop of ads -- but I am thankful for these.

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Giants Victorious!

New York Giants: 17 New England Patriots: 14

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My wife and I are big fans of the Manning brothers. Las year we saw Peyton Manning get the Super Bowl ring that their father Archie never did. Tonight we saw younger brother Eli Manning do the same. If ever there was a question about whether Eli Manning was a great quarterback in his own right, he settled that with an MVP performance tonight.

And in doing so, Eli Manning and the New York Giants pulled off what has to be the greatest upset in Super Bowl history, if not in the entire history of the NFL. They stopped the Patriots from achieving a perfect season in a year marred by a cheating scandal that has called into question their early victories, and even their previous Super Bowl victories.

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And what a game it was.

The Giants had the perfect answer for the suddenly imperfect Patriots: a big, bad defense and an improbable comeback led by their own Mr. Cool quarterback, Eli Manning.

In one of football's biggest shockers, New York shattered New England's unbeaten season as Manning hit Plaxico Burress on a 13-yard fade with 35 seconds left in the Super Bowl. Sunday's 17-14 win was the Giants' 11th straight on the road, and the first time the Patriots tasted defeat in more than a year.

It was the most bitter of losses, too, because New England (18-1) was one play from winning, but its defense couldn't stop a 12-play, 83-yard drive that featured a spectacular leaping catch by David Tyree, who scored New York's first touchdown.

Tom Brady, the league's Most Valuable Player and winner of his first three Super Bowls, was battered all game. He was sacked five times, hurried a dozen more, and at one point wound up on his knees, his hands on his hips following one of many poor throws.

Hardly a familiar position for the record-setting quarterback. And a totally strange outcome for a team that seemed destined for historic glory.

Oddly, it was a loss to the Patriots that sparked New York's stunning run to its third Super Bowl and sixth NFL title. New England won 38-35 in Week 17 as the Patriots became the first team since the 1972 Miami Dolphins to go spotless through the regular season. But by playing hard in a meaningless game for them, the Giants gained something of a swagger.

Their growing confidence carried them through playoff victories at Tampa, Dallas and Green Bay, and then past the mightiest opponent of all.

And i can't help but comment upon the behavior of Bill Belichick in leaving the field before the final snap and in not offering his congratulations to the Giants in his post-game interview. Quality and class clearly won tonight.

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February 02, 2008

Britney Not Competent To Run Own Affairs

You mean it took a judge to figure this out?

The father of Britney Spears was named her temporary conservator Friday, putting him in control of her welfare a day after she was whisked to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation.

While James Spears was named conservator of the troubled pop star herself, he and an attorney, Andrew Wallete, were name conservators of her estate. The singer's mother, Lynne Spears, also showed up for the unannounced hearing in Superior Court.

The court also issued a restraining order against Britney Spears' sometimes manager and friend, Sam Lutfi, and gave permission to change the locks on her estate and remove anyone who is there.

A court creates conservatorships when a person cannot care for themselves or handle their affairs. Commissioner Reva Goetz said Spears would be under conservatorship until Feb. 4, at which time another hearing will be held.

I'm not gloating. Really, I'm not.

It is just that this sad young woman has made such a spectacle of herself in recent weeks, including an armed standoff with the cops, that this outcome is long overdue.

She needs significantly more help than she is going to get in three days.

And frankly, i am saddened by the whole situation -- and the fact it has taken so long to help this girl.

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January 31, 2008

The Giants And The Hero

One more reason I'm pulling for the New York Giants this Sunday.

To date, the United States has 3,940 confirmed deaths in Iraq. Back in May, U.S. Army Lt. Col. Greg Gadson, a battalion leader, very nearly found himself on that list. An IED (improvised explosive device) thoroughly shattered his body. Only 70 pints of blood, the exceptional field work of men in his 1st Infantry Division and the skill of doctors saved his life.

His legs weren't so fortunate.

The New York Giants, however, consider themselves blessed to have made this double-amputee's acquaintance. They credit Gadson, who played football at Army with New York wide receivers coach Mike Sullivan, with helping to salvage their season and making it something approaching superb. His stirring pregame speeches and his living example of courage and perseverance have inspired them all the way to Super Bowl XLII.

These men got the opportunity to meet Lt. Col. Gadson in September, when they played the Redskins in Washington, with a record of 0-2. And it was then that something very special happened.

The Giants' defense had allowed a total of 80 points in their two previous losses, to Dallas and Green Bay, and they were trailing the Redskins 17-3 at halftime. But the Giants scored three unanswered touchdowns in the second half, the last one a 33-yard pass from Eli Manning to Plaxico Burress with 5:22 left.

Burress did not spike the ball. Instead, he sprinted to the Giants' sideline and dropped it into the lap of Gadson, who was sitting in a wheelchair.

"That's when," Gadson said, "I became one of the Giants."

And for the NFC championship game in Green Bay, gadson was an honorary team captain. And Gadson again received a little bit of NFL history.

The wind chill was below zero, but Gadson didn't want to watch the game from the warm suite the Giants had arranged for him.

"He wanted to be right out there on the front lines, so to speak," Sullivan said. "You'd see players would go up to him and he'd look them right in the eye, and you could tell they were feeding off his courage and his inspiration."

The game was in overtime when Webster intercepted Brett Favre's pass at the Packers' 34-yard line. That ball too was deposited in the hands of Gadson.

"I felt like he deserved the ball," Webster said, "because he's a big motivating factor for me, personally, and for the team."

Four plays later, Lawrence Tynes kicked the winning field goal and, improbably, the Giants were on their way to Phoenix. Yes, of course, Gadson will be there. He has become part of the team. Burress, who also comes from the Tidewater region of Virginia, calls him regularly and exchanges text messages with him.

Lt. Col. Greg Gadson has become the inspiration and good luck charm for this team. The Giants haven't lost a game he has attended, and he will be at the Super Bowl with the New York Giants on Sunday. And it is my fervent hope that we see him, when it is all over, holding the football from the game-winning score -- and the Vince Lombardi Trophy.

After all, Gadson is a true champion, and one of our nation's heroes.

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January 30, 2008

Why Poll On This?

That is the question I was left with after reading this little post from RickG at Lone Star Times.

A Houston Chronicle blog asks readers to vote on the question: Is Angelina Jolie pregnant?

Perhaps I have been in a coma for a decade or so and donÂ’t realize the scientific advancements that have made online polls powerful enough to make a celebrity with child! I can only pity Brad and Angelina as they wring their hands waiting on the decision from the Chronicle.

Will tomorrowÂ’s Chron ask whether it should be a boy or girl?

I understand that celebrity news might perk up the circulation of the local rag (which we just allowed to lapse), but this question is utterly ridiculous – hence the necessity of ridiculing it.

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January 28, 2008

Some Thoughts On Pizza

Proving that there is a blog on virtually any topic that you could imagine, I came across “Slice” today – a blog devoted to pizza.

And what a post I was directed to by Andrew Sullivan -- a rather thorough listing of various varieties of pizza, classified in so complete a manner as to virtually have them classified with phylum, genus, and species.

Last week on Serious Eats, community member HeartofGlass asked: "How many different kinds of regional varations of pizza exist?"

I figured I'd compile a list of all the styles I've eaten or heard or read about. Sorry it took so long, HeartofGlass. It's a long list, and it appears after the jump.

I’ve got to tell you – the listing itself is mouthwatering, with enough variety to fill a couple of weeks of dining pleasure (assuming you could do all the travel necessary to eat them all).

My personal favorite? The Stuffed Pizza.

Stuffed Pizza

Another Chicago specialty that is often confused with deep dish because of its similarity. It's assembled and cooked in a similar manner to deep dish, but it has a top layer of crust and is usually taller and more densely packed with toppings.

YouÂ’ll sometimes encounter this with a layer of toppings on top of that top layer of crust, for a great gastronomical experience. And the Deep Dish Pizza right above it in the listing is a near second in my book, and is done admirably down here in the Houston area at J. ChristopherÂ’s on Atascocita Road in Humble and Northpark Road in Kingwood, as well as at their sister restaurant, OÂ’BrennanÂ’s on Marina Bay Drive in League City (near Kemah).

And then there is this pizza heresy, a cursed concoction that I pray never to be confronted with again – Saint Louis-Style Pizza.

Saint Louis–Style

Might be mistaken for a Chicago thin crust at first, just on looks—and maybe for the fact that Saint Louis and Chicago are only a few hundred miles apart. But this style's very thin, crackerlike crust is unleavened. And it's topped with a special three-cheese blend (provolone, Swiss, white cheddar) called Provel that's used in place of mozzarella (and sometimes, but not often, in addition to mozzarella). Like Chicago thin crust, it's usually done party cut. Imo's Pizza is thought to be the originator.

Let me add that it is every bit as awful as it sounds, and is one of the few things that I do not miss about my years living in the St. Louis area.

Anyway, folks – dig in to your favorite!

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January 27, 2008

Testing The Bulls

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is going to become the new standard in pro rodeo.

It takes Big Bucks an average of 3.64 seconds to throw a cowboy off his back.

And he keeps getting better. Last season, the 7-year-old, 1,350-pound bull shaved his time to 3.48 seconds; this month, he trotted out of Madison Square Garden as the top-ranked bull in the 2008 Versus Invitational, the opening event in bull riding's major leagues.

But these days, with steroid scandals clouding many top sports, doubts waft in the bullring, too, and Big Bucks finds himself facing a question about what makes him a winner:

Is it the Mexican fighting bull in him, the Brahman influence, his Texas upbringing — or something else?

Big Bucks hasn't ducked the question — instead submitting to a needle-wielding veterinarian and making history in the process as the first bucking bull to be tested for anabolic steroids under the Professional Bull Riders' plan to keep the sport clean.

Dogged by internal rumblings that bull owners seek an advantage in the arena by injecting the creatures with steroids, the association recently decided it was time for the truth.

Steroids, I guess they are everywhere, in every sport. I had never thought about injecting one of these behemoths with the stuff, but I suppose it would have an impact. I hope we don't find that this has been going on -- especially given the likelihood that a bull with roid rage could kill someone.

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January 23, 2008

Canseco's Payola?

Except, of course, this one works in reverse. He won't sing if you pay him off.

José Canseco, the former major league slugger and admitted steroid user who exposed other players in his 2005 best-selling book “Juiced,” offered to keep a Detroit Tigers outfielder “clear” in his next book if the player invested money in a film project Canseco was promoting, according to a person in baseball with knowledge of the situation.

Four people in baseball confirmed that referrals were made from Major League Baseball to the F.B.I. regarding Canseco’s actions relating to the six-time All-Star outfielder Magglio Ordóñez, who was not mentioned in Canseco’s earlier book or in any other report on performance-enhancing drugs in baseball. All four insisted on anonymity because they said they didn’t have authority to speak about the events.

The F.B.I. did not open a formal investigation because Ordóñez said he did not want to pursue the complaint.

Canseco denied that he — or any associate of his — ever asked Ordóñez for money to keep his name out of a book titled “Vindicated.”

“Absolutely not,” Canseco said in a telephone interview Wednesday. He also said he had not been told about being the subject of F.B.I. referrals.

This strikes me as the sort of thing that should be pursued by the FBI regardless of Ordóñez desire to pursue the matter. Given some of the disputes that have gone on recently over steroid abuse allegations, there ought to be some clarity as to the accusers and their motives. It seems that there are some credibility problems at work here. And with no fewer than four different sources bringing the information to the attention of the government, I think that we have a prima facie case that something happened.

Posted by: Greg at 10:44 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Win A Date With Drew?

Good Lord! Here is a name -- and a stunt -- that takes me back to my teenage years in the Chicago area. Steve Dahl, the granddaddy of shock jocks, has arranged a contest for some lucky(?) woman to win a date with Drew Peterson.

His fourth wife has only been missing three months, but Drew Peterson appears ready to plunge back into the dating pool.

“Win a Date with Drew Peterson” is scheduled to air at 8 a.m. Thursday on Steve Dahl’s morning show on WJMK-FM (104.3). Peterson agreed to the stunt when he appeared with his attorney on the show this morning.

Peterson, a former Bolingbrook police sergeant, told Dahl his only caveat with the date was “no three-way stuff.” Dahl said he would likely send a chaperone on the day “just to be on the safe side,” before adding, “I’m kidding.”

PetersonÂ’s fourth wife Stacy vanished on Oct. 28 from the coupleÂ’s Bolingbrook home. Drew Peterson said the mother of two young children left with another man. Police have called her disappearance a possible homicide investigation and labeled Drew Peterson a potential suspect.

Drew PetersonÂ’s third wife, Kathleen Savio, was found dead in a bathtub at her home after the couple separated. Police are reinvestigating her death in the wake of Stacy PetersonÂ’s disappearance.

It's sick.

It's tasteless.

It's classic Steve Dahl!

After all, this is the guy whose obituary will begin "Dahl, a longtime mainstay of Chicago broadcasting, is best remembered for causing the Chicago White Sox to forfeit a game due to a riot cause by his 'Disco Demolition Night'." Setting up a date with someone who probably has killed two wives is right up his alley. I'm just surprised that Peterson's attorney went for it -- after all, it won't look good to the jury in either murder trial.

Posted by: Greg at 12:23 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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January 22, 2008

Celebrity-Driven Culture Alert

You know, I think it is sad that a talented young man like Heath Ledger is dead. And while I was not a particular fan of his work (I have a hard time naming a single film of his that I have seen, other than The Patriot), I recognize the loss to the entertainment world in terms of the potential that was snuffed out yesterday.

At 3:31 p.m., according to the police, a masseuse arrived at the fourth-floor apartment of the building, at 421 Broome Street, between Crosby and Lafayette Streets in SoHo, for an appointment with Mr. Ledger. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of the bedroom Mr. Ledger was in. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger naked and unconscious on a bed, with sleeping pills — both prescription medication and nonprescription — on a night table. They attempted to revive him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities. As the news reports spread quickly, throngs of people gathered in the neighborhood.

The police said they did not suspect a crime. Ellen Borakove, a spokeswoman for the office of the cityÂ’s chief medical examiner, Dr. Charles S. Hirsch, said that employees of the office were at the apartment and that an autopsy would be conducted on Wednesday. Around 6:30 p.m., city workers rolled Mr. LedgerÂ’s body, in a black body bag on a stretcher, out of the building.

Again, heartbreaking -- one more entertainer dead of an overdose at a young age. We've seen this story too many times in the past to even be surprised.

But let's consider the amount and the prominence of the media coverage of Ledger's death. With all that is going on in the world -- war, economic problems, the presidential race -- did this death really merit the sort of coverage that it got from the media? I mean no disrespect to the deceased, but is his death important enough to knock those stories from the front page and the lead position on the news broadcasts? Have we in this country become so celebrity obsessed that this story matters more than those other stories?

Posted by: Greg at 10:51 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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January 17, 2008

Stupid Cheesehead Tricks

Sometimes I wonder about Packers fans.

This guy was just careless.

A little housecleaning nearly cost the Rev. Walter Hermanns a seat at Sunday's National Football Conference championship game.

Hermanns, who has multiple sclerosis and uses a wheelchair, was getting some help from a friend last Friday when he asked him to take care of a stack of papers left in a bin for shredding.

When his friend got to four Green Bay Packers tickets bundled together with a rubber band, he took off the band, put one in the shredder and then stopped short.

"Something rang a bell and he said, 'Are you sure you want to shred these?'" Hermanns said.

Fortunately, Hermanns was treated well by the Packers organization, and his ticket was replaced when he provided the shredded pieces and other evidence of purchase.

On the other hand, this guy deserves no mercy whatsoever.

Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him.

Mathew Kowald was cited for disorderly conduct in connection with the incident with his son at their home in Pardeeville, Lt. Wayne Smith of the Columbia County Sheriff's Department said. Pardeeville is about 30 miles north of Madison.

The 36-year-old Kowald was arrested Monday after his wife told authorities about the incident. Kowald was taken to the county jail and held until Wednesday, when he pleaded no contest, paid a fine of $186 and was released.

Kowald's wife filed a restraining order Wednesday, so Kowald will not be able to have contact with his family, Smith said. Smith said other domestic issues have surfaced, though he wouldn't elaborate.

I'm somewhat taken aback that all this guy got was a fine. What the hell was he thinking – or was he thinking at all?

Which is just my way of saying:

Go Eli! Go Giants! Beat the Packers!

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January 15, 2008

Most Bizarre American Idol Moments

My wife and I had to watch the first audition show for American Idol last night.

I think we saw a couple of the most strange American Idol moments ever last night.

Take, for example, this guy.

Creepy! And the more time we had to consider the performance during the commercial, the more disturbed we became. You have to hope that Paula Abdul sought a restraining order after that one. Sick sick sick sick sick!

Did I mention that this guy was really sick?

Posted by: Greg at 11:23 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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January 13, 2008

NFL Playoffs

Frankly, I had dreams of seeing this year's Super Bowl be the Manning Bowl. I didn't, however, expect to see it happened. Indeed, I expected only one Manning to survive this weekend.

I was right.

And wrong at the same time.

Peyton is out.

To the surprise of many people who follow the N.F.L., the San Diego Chargers, not the Indianapolis Colts, will meet the New England Patriots next Sunday for the American Football Conference championship and the right to play in Super Bowl XLII.

* * *

The Chargers won their eighth consecutive game despite 3 touchdown passes and 402 passing yards by Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. But Manning also threw two interceptions on tipped balls, and receiver Marvin Harrison lost a fumble after a catch and run, leading to San DiegoÂ’s first touchdown. All three turnovers were in Chargers territory; two came inside the 20.

And yet the younger Manning, the NY Giants' Eli, kept his team alive with the help of a defense that simply dominated the Cowboys.

Tony Romo can go wherever he wants with Jessica Simpson now. Eli Manning and the New York Giants knocked him and the Dallas Cowboys into the offseason Sunday.

Having to wait out long, slow drives by Dallas, Manning made his few chances count, throwing two touchdown passes to Amani Toomer and getting a 1-yard touchdown run from Brandon Jacobs for a 21-17 victory that put New York into the NFC championship game for the first time since the 2000 season.

"I won't get tired of hearing that this week," Manning said. "No one's given us much credit and probably still won't. But that's OK. We like it that way."

Manning is heading to his first NFC championship game, at Green Bay next Sunday. Manning had a much better day than his brother, Peyton, whose Indianapolis Colts were stunned by the San Diego Chargers.

"I know he was watching and rooting for me," said Eli, who was 12-of-18 for 163 yards.

I know I'll be rooting for the Giants next week against the Packers -- in the hopes of setting up a rematch of the marquis game of the regular season's final weekend, when the Giants lost a hard-fought game to the Patriots. I'd love to see Eli Manning and the Giants pull that upset in the big game.

Posted by: Greg at 11:08 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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January 12, 2008

OJailed

This man gets dumber and dumber.

OJ Simpson cussed his way back to a Las Vegas jail when he tried to contact a wit ness in his case with an expletive-fueled message, a judge ruled yesterday.

Clark County District Attor ney David Roger accused Simpson of violating the terms of his bail by leav ing a voice mail for bail bondsman Miguel Pereira - in which he asked the moneyman to pass on some choice words to co-defendant Clarence "CJ" Stewart.

Simpson, previously free on $125,000 bond, was barred from talking to any witnesses, victims or co-defendants.

"I just want, want CJ to know that the whole thing all the time he was tellin' me that s--t, ya know, I hope he was telling me the truth; don't be trying to change the motherf--- ing s--t now," Simpson said in a rambling voice mail left on Nov. 16, according to court documents.

You aren't allowed to contact witnesses. You aren't allowed to contact co-defendants. Why on earth would you leav one a message on an answering machine? Do you LIKE jail?

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January 07, 2008

No Globes

And there is much rejoicing.

The Golden Globes, the ceremony known for getting HollywoodÂ’s awards season off to a rollicking start, will be reduced to a news conference Sunday by the writers strike and will likely draw picket lines and lack star power.

Despite the revamped ceremony announced Monday by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the Screen Actors Guild said it was encouraging its members to skip the show in support of the two-month walkout by the Writers Guild of America.

“The WGA informed us they will picket the event on Sunday,” the actors guild said in a statement.

Frankly, who cares. Over the years such shows have become increasingly less relevant. More to the point, do we really need hours upon hours of redundant awards shows with thanks being given to friends, faily members and obscure acquaintances from decades earlier in life.

Just send out a press release, and I'll be happy.

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January 05, 2008

Blu-Ray=VHS; HD-DVD=Beta

I think this decision pretty well settles the format war for high-definition digital video.

Warner Bros. Entertainment said Friday it will release movie discs only in the Blu-ray format, becoming the latest studio to reject the rival HD DVD technology and further complicating the high-definition landscape for consumers.

Warner Bros., owned by Time Warner Inc., was the only remaining studio releasing high-definition DVDs in both formats.

It is the fifth studio to back Blu-ray, developed by Sony Corp. Only two support the HD DVD format, developed by Toshiba Corp.

Both formats deliver crisp, clear high-definition pictures and sound. But they are incompatible with each other, and neither plays on older DVD players, which means consumers seeking top-quality playback face a dilemma.

Warner said it decided to go with Blu-ray because consumers have shown a stronger preference for that format than HD DVD.

"The window of opportunity for high-definition DVD could be missed if format confusion continues to linger," Warner Bros. chairman and Chief Executive Barry Meyer said in a statement.

"We believe that exclusively distributing in Blu-ray will further the potential for mass market success and ultimately benefit retailers, producers and, most importantly, consumers," the statement said.

Market-share seems to have settled the matter, especially Since some major retailers have indicated that they are Blu-ray only distributors. And given that a Blu-ray disc holds 20GB more data than an HD-DVD I'm not surprised that people would prefer that format. For that matter, it probably spells the end of the "Bonus Feature" disc, since that material can likely be incorporated on the same disc as the original movie.

Posted by: Greg at 02:27 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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January 03, 2008

This Won't Help Her Case

Proof that Britney Spears probably shouldn't be allowed ANY visitation with her kids.

A child custody standoff between Britney Spears and employees of ex-husband Kevin Federline lasted three hours and ended with an intoxicated Spears releasing the children before she was carted away in an ambulance. home Thursday night.

Foxnews.com have confirmed that the Los Angeles Police Department was called to Spears' home to investigate a "custody dispute" around 8 p.m. Pacific Time.

Federline's bodyguards intended to collect their two toddlers at 7p.m. but Britney reportedly refused to hand them back.

Officers were called to the home around 8 p.m., and the 26-year-old singer turned over the children around 10:50 p.m., Officer Jason Lee, a police spokesman, told City News Service.

At around midnight Britney was wheeled out in a gurney, following hearsays that "someone" inside the home was in a very hysterical, possibly intoxicated state. Police officer Jason Lee told the Associated Press that no injuries were reported yet Spears was believed to be under a the influence of an "unknown substance". The mother-of-two has since been placed on "medical hold" in an unknown location and is awaiting medical evaluation.

Let's see what we have here.

Interference with child custody arrangements.

A stand-off with police.

Emergency detox/mental health treatment.

Can anyone really argue that this woman is not a danger to those kids? Is there any basis for suggesting that they are safe in her custody? Heck, one has to ask whether Spears is not a danger to herself or others and in need of longer-term commitment for her obvious psychological problem

Closing question -- am I the only person shocked to conclude that Kevin Federline is really the better parent out of this pair?

Posted by: Greg at 10:40 PM | Comments (557) | Add Comment
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December 30, 2007

Texans 2007 -- .500 At Last!

After six years as a Houston Texans season ticket holder, this one was sweet.

The guys beat Jacksonville 42-28, and finally had a non-losing season. Not bad for the team with the most guys on injured reserve, and bitten by the injury bug the way they were all season.

But the highlight has to be this pair of kickoff returns by Andre Davis -- which came on top of a clutch fumble recovery he made on a Texans punt..

Andredavisfumblerecovery.jpg


andredavisdreturn1.jpg


andredavisreturn2.jpg

Receiver André Davis became the seventh player in NFL history to return kickoffs for touchdowns in the same game, and his extraordinary performance ignited the Texans to a 42-28 victory over Jacksonville.

The victory, accomplished over a Jacksonville team that rested seven starters, allowed the Texans to finish with a franchise-best 8-8 record – a six-game improvement from the franchise-worst 2-14 record of 2005.

Davis, who recovered a muffed punt that set up the TexansÂ’ first touchdown, returned the last kickoff of the first half 97 yards for a touchdown that gave them a 21-14 lead they never surrendered.

Then, Davis returned the second-half kickoff 104 yards for a touchdown that boosted the lead to 28-14.

WOW!

I feel great about next year -- and we are all thinking playoff here in Houston.

And to the Texans, may I just say THANK YOU FOR A MEMORABLE SEASON.

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December 25, 2007

Kerry Threatens Hearings

So I'm hoping the New England Patriots lose this weekend, and end the season 15-1.

With the New England Patriots now one win away from finishing the regular season undefeated, Sen. John Kerry is stepping up his campaign to get the final game broadcast on national television.

The contest Saturday with the New York Giants is to air locally in Boston and New York. But outside those markets it is scheduled to appear only on the NFL Network, a cable channel that reaches just 35 million households nationwide while the league and cable operators dicker over pricing and distribution.

Kerry asked football Commissioner Roger Goodell today to move the game to NBC – and threatened Senate hearings if he does not.

“Under the unfortunate circumstance that this matter remains unresolved, leaving 60 percent of households across the country – including thousands in Massachusetts – without access to Saturday’s game, I will ask the Senate Commerce Committee to hold hearings on how the emergence of premium sports channels are impacting the consumer,” he wrote to Goodell today in a letter released by his office.

The Massachusetts Democrat added that he would “consider what legislative measures may be necessary to ensure that consumers are more than bystanders in this process.”

Actually, the appropriateremedy is for the cable companies to be required to follow the terms of their agreement with the NFL and make the NFL Network a part of their basic cable package. Unfortunately, a single state court set a nation-wide precedent on the matter some months back, allowing the cable companies to violate their agreement.

And if we can't make the cable companies abide by the agreement, maybe the time has come for Congress to mandate an end to monopolistic cable franchises -- so that consumers can have a choice in cable providers, just as they do with their long distance service..

Posted by: Greg at 04:11 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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December 23, 2007

SciFi Sound Quiz

I don't do geeky quizzes very often, but Hube over at Colossus of Rhodey scored an 85, so I had to try to beat him.

Take the Sci fi sounds quizI received 92 credits on
The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz

How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is

Not only that, but I beat Jonah Goldberg from National Review, too!

OK -- who wants to shoot for a perfect score?

Posted by: Greg at 03:24 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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December 22, 2007

Thank God It Doesn't Happen Here

I grew up a fan of the Washington Redskins, though I never had a chance to attend a game. Indeed, I finally did get to see them play in St. Louis when I was in my mid-30s, after the Rams moved there.

And today I am a big fan of the Houston Texans, with season tickets. But I would drop those tickets in a minute if this sort of stuff ever became the standard at Reliant Stadium.

I went to my last professional football game this month. My son and I braved frigid, remote FedEx Field to see our beloved Chicago Bears, the fallen Super Bowl champions, humiliated 24-16 by the struggling Washington Redskins. It wasn't the depth of our despair that will keep us away from football stadiums for good but the depravity of the fans.

I suppose depravity is a strong word. But what better describes drunken adult men, egged on by other grown beer-swillers, belly-shouting the most spectacular obscenities imaginable as they stand next to a 13-year-old boy? Every play was a competition to produce a more vile insult or a different suggestion about which Bear body part might be stuffed up which orifice. When the Redskins scored their first touchdown, four young women -- I'm guessing they were in high school -- turned around and did a little stripper's dance that made my son blush as I cringed. Even putting aside their ages, it was too cold to bare flesh.

Within 10 minutes of kickoff, I knew I had made a terrible mistake taking my son to the game.

The looming aggression and violence was more troubling than the foul language and drunken boorishness. Some of the men near us were enraged and barely in control of themselves. When Bears quarterback Rex Grossman went down with a knee injury, two obese drunks behind us bellowed that they hoped the [expletive] [expletive] would never walk again. They did this over and over, adding slurs and suggested tortures.

I had already pointed out to these gentlemen that there were kids around. They glared at me, furious. It was obvious to me that if I pursued it, there would be a fight or a screaming match.

And as a season ticket holder, I find this part of the story to be even worse.

My son wore a Bears jersey concealed under his layers of fleece and down. A man two rows in front of us who looked like Cpl. Klinger from "M*A*S*H" took it upon himself to needle my son every time something bad happened to the Bears, which happened a lot. He would turn and stare at him and wave goodbye in a threatening way. I know he was trying to be funny, ribbing us in good spirit. But when I asked him to stop, he just shook his head. The very nice man next to me, a season-ticket holder, told me that if I just waited until the second half, the guy would be too drunk to stand.

That isn't the way things are in our part of Reliant Stadium, or in other parts from my experience (and I've been to 90% of the Texans home games since the team was created). We have an alert staff of ushers and off-duty cops who make sure that everyone has a good time at the game, and that the place is family friendly. They even put up a phone number on the jumbotron for you to call if someone in your area is out-of-hand -- and they do take action.

Indeed, our biggest problem is fans coming from out of town to watch the games. I've been spit on by a Cowboy's fan and throughly cursed by a sluttily dressed Dolphinette for demanding that she quit move so that my wife could get to the bathroom from our handicapped accessible seat ("Move for the wheelchair!" was such an unreasonable expectation). One was thrown out of the stadium, and the other would have been arrested if he hadn't run off into the crowd. But other than the occasional drunk getting a bit out of hand, I've not observed the sort of problems described in this column here in Houston.

That's not to say that there isn't taunting -- there is. The funniest may have been a few weeks back when all the Saints fans started chanting "Reggie! Reggie!" after Reggie Bush made a first down near the goal line -- and when he lost the ball on the 1-yard line the very next play, we all dutifully turned around and reciprocated with the same chant of "Reggie! Reggie!" in honor of the running back we didn't draft a year ago. There was even a bit of laughter from both sides. And therein lies the key -- we are there for fun, for entertainment.

So Dick, I hope you don't give up on the NFL. If you get a chance, bring the boy down here to Houston for a game and see how football can be done right.

Posted by: Greg at 05:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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