Rhymes With Right

September 24, 2006

Chris Simms In Hospital -- NBC Reports Condition Critical

But Simms' team denies that this is the case.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Chris Simms was taken by ambulance to a Tampa hospital Sunday afternoon.
Several news sources say Simms is in critical condition, although a top official with the Buccaneers is denying that report.
Officials at St. Joseph's Hospital, where Simms was taken, are not commenting on the quarterback's condition.
Buccaneers' general manager Bruce Allen this evening vehemently denied to NBC Sports that Simms is in critical condition. However, Allen confirmed that members of Simms' family, including his father, former NFL quarterback Phil Simms, had been contacted.
Simms was hospitalized a short time after the Buccaneers' last-minute 26-24 NFL loss to the Carolina Panthers.
Simms appeared to experience medical problems during the game. He was hit hard several times by Panthers defensive players and was taken out of the game in the third quarter. Announcers said Simms had suffered from dehydration in the 90-degree-plus heat and high humidity in Tampa.

Regardless of the case, let us offer prayers for his recovery -- after all, football is only a game.

UPDATE: Simms has had his spleen removed.

Tampa Bay quarterback Chris Simms had his spleen removed after taking several hard hits in Sunday's 26-24 loss to the Carolina Panthers and was resting in a hospital, the Buccaneers confirmed in a statement.
"Chris Simms suffered an injury to his spleen during today's game and was taken to the hospital," said Buccaneers team doctor Joe Diaco. "He underwent a spleenectomy (removal of the spleen) this evening and is in stable condition. Chris is doing well and we anticipate a full recovery."

After taking several hard hits to the rib area during the game, Simms missed only two plays due to what was believed to be dehydration. He also experienced what was beleived to be cramping, but now appears likely to be the effects of the injury which required this surger.

I'm guessing the Tampa Bay QB will be out for a while

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September 08, 2006

Everyone? Really?

Well, celebrity doofus Brad Pitt has made one of the most inane public statements of all time regarding his relationship with Angelina Jolie, who has been involved with most every sort of strange sexual kink.

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

Everyone? Really?

Does this just a pathetic way of saying/not saying that they support homosexual marriage? Or do they include incestuous unions in there, too? How about polygamy/polyandry/polyamory?

Knowing Angie, it could be all of the above -- that way she could have Brad, her brother, and her lesbuian ex-lover all tied up in her dominatrix lair. As noted above, she's done it all!

I won't speculate about the couple's position on the rights of the perverts who advocate Man/Boy love -- or whether he thinks freaks like John Mark Karr ought to be able to marry their pre-pubescent obsessions, just like Muhammad did.

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September 06, 2006

Artery-Cloggers Top Fair Food Awardees

IÂ’m serious as a heart-attack Â– which is precisely what you may get with these innovations in carnival cuisine.

This yearÂ’s Big Tex Choice Awards, given to the top two State Fair vendors for creative food ideas, may have proven that anything fried and dusted with powdered sugar is delicious.
The second annual contest is a preview of the many foods that patrons will see at this yearÂ’s State Fair of Texas, which kicks off Sept. 29 and runs though Oct. 22.
Winning this yearÂ’s contest was the battered Fried Praline Perfection for best taste, and the cup of dough-rolled Fried Coke was named most creative. Each winner received a trophy.
* * *
The six finalists
Deep Fried Cosmopolitan Â— A fried pastry filled with cheesecake and topped with a cranberry glaze and a lime wedge. Served on a stick.
Donkey Tails Â— Large all-beef franks, slit on one side and generously stuffed with sharp Cheddar cheese, wrapped in a large flour tortilla and fried until golden brown. Served with mustard chili sauce or RuthÂ’s salsa.
FernieÂ’s Fried Choco-rito Â— A flour tortilla stuffed with marshmallows, coconut, candy bar pieces, caramel morsels and cinnamon then dipped in pancake batter and deep-fried to a crispy, crunchy outside and sweet, gooey inside. Drizzled with honey and topped with whipped cream.
FernieÂ’s Fried Mac-n-cheese Â— Texas-sized bites of macaroni and cheese, covered with a layer of garlic- and herb-flavored bread crumbs and deep fried until crispy outside and hot and cheesy inside. Served on a stick with a side of dipping sauces.
Fried Coke Â— Smooth spheres of Coca-Cola-flavored batter that are deep fried, drizzled with pure Coke fountain syrup, topped with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry. Served in souvenir contoured glasses.
Fried Praline Perfection Â— Plump coconut and pecan pralines, battered and fried to a rich golden crust. Served warm with powdered sugar.

I think IÂ’m going to be sick Â– and I havenÂ’t even been on the Tilt-A-Whirl yet!

H/T Lone Star Times

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Whom The Gods Would Destroy, They First Make Mad

That quote from Euripides certainly ran through my mind when I read this description of the new documentary about the ~~Ditzy Slits~~ Dixie Chicks.

Filmmakers have created a nonchronological story to emphasize the Greek tragedy behind the Dixie Chicks' spiral into country music's public enemy No. 1. The Chicks vs. President Bush, the Chicks vs. Toby Keith, the Chicks vs. country radio -- every antagonistic angle is covered, and yet Maines, Emily Robison and Martie McGuire persevere, with their chroniclers providing a sympathetic tone to their every struggle.

And their actions following Natalie MainesÂ’ stupid comment about President Bush while on stage in England certainly appear insane to me.

Maines is seen backstage at Shepherds Bush Empire asking for an update on the just-launched war in Iraq; within hours -- with cameras rolling -- she offhandedly says, "We're ashamed the president is from Texas," the home state of both Bush and the Chicks. She makes the statement, turns to a bandmate and laughs.
The press makes hay of her comment, and the Chicks and management go into damage-control mode, which will last nearly three years. There's the famous nude Entertainment Weekly magazine cover shoot, the Diane Sawyer interview and the protests at concerts.

Yes. But there is something that gets out. Rather than apologize for offending their fans (which would have been sufficient for me, who was prepared to buy tickets for their 2003 concert in Houston), they sounded a defiant note. Rather than acknowledge that those who were offended had a right to disagree, the band instead painted themselves as the victims of some McCarthyistic furor. Not only that, but they and their supporters acted as if the band was entitled to airplay and album sales Â– an insane proposition that placed the bandÂ’s freedom of speech above the rights of the rest of the American public.

The Left likes to tell us the ~~Ditzy Slits~~ Dixie Chicks were censored for their political speech. There is some truth to that claim Â– but not the way that the advocates for the band would have the public believe. Millions of Americans did censor band by turning them off and refusing to buy their albums and tickets. Hundreds of radio stations, reacting to listener pressure, censored them by dropping the band from playlists. All of this censorship, though, was of a sort that the Constitution permits Â– and at no time did the government act against the band, which is prohibited under the First Amendment. The rights of the band were respected, but so were the rights of millions of Americans to express their disapproval with their wallets.

After all, while the girls have every right to speak and sing, they have no right to an audience or a paycheck

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September 04, 2006

Crikey! Stingray Kills 'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin

When one engages in dangerous pursuits, it is not surprising that one loses one's life. But death itself is always a surprise -- and so this morning we hear of the sad death of The Crocodile Hunter.

Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the "Crocodile Hunter," was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.
Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said.
"He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time.
Crew members aboard the boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said.
Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword "Crikey!" in his television program "Crocodile Hunter." First broadcast in Australia in 1992, the program was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting Irwin to international celebrity.

Irwin is also known for one of the worst movies ever made -- 2002's "The Crocodile Hunters: Collision Course".

This is a truly sad event, especially for his wife, Terri, and their two children, daughter Bindi Sue, 8, and son Bob, who will turn 3 in December. May they be comforted by the fact he died doing what he loved.

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