October 04, 2009

Why You Need To Read My Friend The Bookworm

Because she so often makes posts like this one.

If a conservative doesnÂ’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesnÂ’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesnÂ’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they donÂ’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesnÂ’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless itÂ’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like heÂ’s in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, heÂ’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.

H/t Colossus of Rhodey

UPDATE: For some reason this thought on the authoritarianism of the "liberal" seems to tie in well with this commentary on the desire of some liberals for a dictator to rule over us all.

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